IT’S TIME TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR. BOSS OR LEADER?

True Leadership: Are You a Boss or a Leader?

In today’s corporate world, titles like “manager” or “executive” are handed out easily, but they do not necessarily make someone a leader. More often than not, true leadership is lost in the shuffle, buried under the hustle for promotions and quarterly targets. The world is full of bosses, but genuine leadership—leadership that serves and uplifts others—is harder to find.

So, what’s the difference?

A boss focuses on control. They manage from a distance, issuing orders, meeting deadlines, and ensuring tasks are completed, often with little concern for the well-being of their team. These are the bosses who check boxes, demand results, and offer little in the way of meaningful support. Their focus is on productivity at all costs. You’ve likely worked for one before: someone who prioritizes performance but doesn’t take the time to nurture their people. The result? Teams that are overworked, undervalued, and constantly running on empty.

A leader, however, serves their team. They understand that leadership is not about wielding power; it is about empowering others. Instead of focusing on the final product, a true leader asks, “How can I help you succeed? What obstacles can I remove?” Leaders actively support the growth of their team, creating an environment where everyone feels valued, encouraged, and equipped to thrive.

I learned this lesson the hard way. During my career, I worked tirelessly to break through barriers—like the glass ceiling and the insidious concept of the glass cliff, which is often career sabotage for women of color. Now that I’m retired and can reflect from the outside, I tell my mentees: the way I was taught to approach success—the way I even initially taught them—was wrong. We shouldn’t be working ourselves into the ground while others sit back and coast. We shouldn’t be expected to silently endure while systemic barriers push us toward failure.

The reality is that PTSD from the workplace is real.

The trauma I experienced—fighting my way to the top, dodging pitfalls designed to see me fail—left lasting scars. And while it may sound dramatic to compare this to war, the emotional toll of racial discrimination, character assassination, and constantly having to protect your reputation feels just as intense. The trauma of being forced to battle at every turn leaves wounds that take years to heal.

Yet, through all of that, I was fortunate. God placed the right people around me, people who became my fighting squad. He gave me a sword (my mentor), a shield (a 6’2” mentee and friend), and a soldier (A-Cam, who stood by my side, helping me through every challenge). We weren’t just colleagues; we were a family. And when you fight alongside family, you don’t have to question who has your back. Our mission wasn’t just to succeed—it was to survive, and in doing so, we made real change. That’s what true leadership is about.

Leadership isn’t about watching from the sidelines as your team struggles. It’s about being in the trenches with them, lifting them up when they stumble, and ensuring their success is your success. True leaders don’t sit idly by while their people fall; they catch them, support them, and help them rise again, and again. When a leader succeeds, the entire team flourishes. But when a boss succeeds, it’s often at the expense of those who helped them along the way.

Why does this matter?

Because workplaces thrive when they are led by true leaders. Teams that feel supported, valued, and empowered are more likely to innovate, collaborate, and grow. They’re not bogged down by stress or fear, because they know they have someone in their corner. In contrast, teams led by bosses often operate in survival mode, battling burnout, frustration, and disillusionment.

So, ask yourself: Are you a boss, or are you a leader?

If you are in a leadership role, take a moment to reflect. Are you simply managing tasks and pushing for results, or are you actively supporting your team’s growth? Are you removing obstacles, creating opportunities for them to succeed, or are you leaving them to fend for themselves? Leadership isn’t about maintaining control—it’s about empowering others to flourish.

Call to Action:

Think about the people you lead or influence, whether in the workplace or in your personal life. How are you showing up for them? What can you do differently to support their growth? Share your thoughts and stories in the comments—let’s have a conversation about what leadership truly means and how we can all strive to lead with empathy, purpose, and strength.

I look forward to hearing from you. It’s been a while!